transatlantic love & meeting the parents:

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the goal:

of dating is so subjective, i think. at different times in our lives we want and need different things and not everyone will have as much experience with it as everyone else. 

as for me, i’m pretty old fashioned. i love the idea of waking up together and reading the news (even if it is on our phones via twitter instead of real deal newspapers) and sitting in a coffeeshop talking about nothing in particular, short holidays in the country (i literally just stepped in the door from a beautiful weekend! surreal, really). i love taking time, and not rushing into things. it’s just my style, not better or worse than anyone else’s. 

it’s taken me the better part of two years to find someone that i want to emotionally invest into again, because i made a conscious choice to not do so unless i found someone sincere and wonderful. that sounds crazy, but like my boyfriend would say - “it’s easy to find someone, finding someone you actually like on the other hand..” i don’t know where i’m going with that quote. 

fact is though, i’ve never been this cared for in all my days. romance is a gorgeous and beautiful thing, but add a bit of emotional substance and commitment to that and it’s cloud 9. in my book anyway, that is! almost six months into dating/knowing him, we’re finally letting “i love you” into our vernacular and well.. i know we mean it. we don’t put each other on pedestals, or always have perfect days without little grumpy interludes.. but that’s being in a real relationship. we never fall asleep on a fight, and any quarrels we do have aren’t all that serious or difficult to resolve. fact is, cheesy as it may be.. i’d trade all my magical kisses in central park and moonlit picnics on baseball fields to be here, right now. best part is though.. i don’t have to. 

you learn something from everyone. we’ve both been in crazy fleeting flings and with all the wrong people for the right reasons, and i’m not saying that our future is guaranteed - but for now, i like having someone to call home and that i’m proud to call mine who feels the same way about me. 

Love,

Elle

what are you after these days?

Dating Tips #123: Put effort into your relationship

sardonicdatingadvice:

Relationships take work and if you don’t put any effort into your relationship, you won’t have one for very long. 

Questions/Response

Email: sardonicdatingadvice@gmail.com

it’s true! 

(the thing is though, with the right person the “work” is a lot easier [if not effortless at times] & not in the least a chore. chores are for kids who get grounded, not ones who adore each other. yeah?) 

xo

via sardonicdatingadvice

on mind games:

we’ve previously talked about ‘em on here, i’m sure. 

i never thought of myself as someone who’s played them with boys i like. i think being straight forward and honest is really important, and i also don’t have the time or energy to do much else. or at least, i thought i didn’t… 

point being: i think i’m the one who’s been playing them in my relationship lately. it wasn’t intentional, i swear! to be fair, i’ve never dated such an emotionally mature/stable guy so this probably has a lot to do with it. i guess i unintentionally tip toe around my feelings and don’t like (or know how to?) be really direct when it comes to telling him how i feel about him. i tease him like we’re in primary school, and expect him to understand how much i care about him through my actions. which is weird, because he’s been better to me than anyone ever has before. 

in a weird way that’s probably the “problem” itself, i like him SO much and appreciate his sweet nature way more than i want to let him know because i don’t want him to lose interest. call it years of bad training from awful exboyfriends, whatever - it’s still a problem. being the sweet guy he is he found his own way of telling me that it’s okay to just be honest, that he likes (maybe even more sometimes, but i don’t want to rush things!) me for who i am and validating that i feel the same way about him is something he’d treasure, not discard. 

so, we’re moving on to the next chapter. i’m learning how to take compliments and tell him how much i appreciate him and he continues to care about me with the utmost sincerity and without a blink. it’s really reassuring, and well - grown up. i guess this is what it’s like, you know. the stuff after first kisses and learning each other’s histories. i kinda like it. i kinda like him a lot, too. 

so, ladies & gents.. i guess what the point is, is to always re-evaluate yourself and make sure you’re treating your loved one like you’d want them to treat you (and with any luck, they do). 

phew.. long post. in short: mind games, don’t do ‘em. my boyfriend is pretty great. relationships get better with time, kinda like wine. xo 

love,

elle

cheese ball of the year status:

i’m in the happiest, healthiest relationship i’ve ever been in with a guy that i adore to pieces. he’s genuine, sweet, old-fashioned, caring, and a really good looker to boot. he treats me with respect and warmth, and isn’t trying to change me in any shape or form. we’re happy with and approving of one another, how neat is that?  only thing i’m not such a big fan of is being long distance right now (one more month!), but i guess i’ll deal with it because i think his accent is pretty funny. (and you know, the aforementioned reasons too) 

Love,

Elle

long distance relationships:

can they work? do they? for how long? etc.

this summer i’ll be giving it a go. which means, yes - british gentleman friend, i’ve got one. expect some updates on that, and any advice & observations that come with it. are any of you dating long distance? send your stories, would love to hear ‘em. 

so far, so good. skype is a beautiful thing, but nothing compares with kisses & cuddles. we’ll see though, i think we can make it work. you know you’ve got someone special when they’ll wipe away the red lipstick on your nose (magical how it ends up everywhere but your lips, really) and play the ukulele awfully just for you. (little bit of a smitten kitten, i can’t deny it!) 

hate to say it, but this guy is really just the sweetest & most genuine gent i’ve met in ages (if ever) - so yeah, i’m going to try and make this work as best as i can. and the best part is, the feeling’s mutual. 

xo,

elle