love, lust, and my opposition to one night stands:

recently a guy who I’ve known of for ages, though not well - keeps on insisting we get together. time after time i reject him - but he’s a persistent son of a gun! the thing is, on paper he doesn’t sound bad. fairly smart and cultural, not awful looking, pretty good sense of humor, in my age bracket. the big issue is: he’s just looking for action, and that’s not my style. the more he talked to me about the physical aspects he wanted, the less i wanted to talk to him. i even said “maybe if you’d try to romance someone you’d find yourself getting some sooner..” and he said that romancing takes time. and it does.

i know that, as humans, we all want to feel close to someone and lust is a part of that. it’s just..that means nothing without love behind it. i just find that if anything, i feel more empty afterwards - i rather wait around for the real thing. innocent kisses are okay i suppose, they’re fun and sweet - but even that i rather only share with someone i at least fancy. his mindset was so typically immature that all i could do was laugh. i’m sure when the right girl comes around he’ll change his tune, but i’m not going to change mine for some empty romp. 

love takes a while to cultivate. you have to find someone, get to know them, trust them enough to become emotionally vunerable, and hope that they treat your heart kindly. it’s a lot to ask of a person and just as much, a big responsibility on your behalf to treat their heart with respect and care. but when the day comes that you find yourself with that, kisses and nights spent under the covers and backrubs and all the affection in the world become something more than their actions. and that, readers, is what i’m after. how about you? xo 

Love,

Elle

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