Jeremy Renner, Sarah and the Universe

datingstandards:

My own personal Dating Standard that doesn’t really have much to do with the rest of you but maybe you’ll laugh and if you don’t I’m sorry:

You have to be Jeremy Renner. I don’t know what it is about this guy but I want do shots of Jack Daniel’s and make out with him in a dark, sketchy bar. Maybe I’ll take up smoking just so I can offer him cigarettes all the time so he can smoke like this more often. Last night at the Oscars I would have been waiting for him with a drink and a sandwich once he finished his interview. He’s a momma’s boy too?!? He loves his mom enough to bring her to the Oscars with him, how sweet. I want him even more now.

What’s wrong with me guys? I don’t understand my attraction to him, it doesn’t make any sense to me. He’s not my type. I don’t think I could ever date a guy that smokes because I don’t want to make out with an ash tray. I don’t even like Jack Daniel’s but I’ll drink it with him? I think I need a Renner intervention. He plays a badass with a heart in the Hurt Locker, I think that’s the reason I want him. Someone make it stop…

But, um, any guy in the world, if you’re Jeremy Renner or like Jeremy Renner then I’ll date you.

Love,
Sarah

Let me sum this up for the guys:

1) Drink

2) Smoke

3) Love your mom

She’ll love you for being so perfectly imperfect. Trust me, I’ve been employing this method successfully for YEARS.

Cheers,

Kyle

via datingstandards

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   guys: 1) Drink 2) Smoke 3) Love your mom She’ll love you for being...perfectly imperfect....

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