on mind games:

we’ve previously talked about ‘em on here, i’m sure. 

i never thought of myself as someone who’s played them with boys i like. i think being straight forward and honest is really important, and i also don’t have the time or energy to do much else. or at least, i thought i didn’t… 

point being: i think i’m the one who’s been playing them in my relationship lately. it wasn’t intentional, i swear! to be fair, i’ve never dated such an emotionally mature/stable guy so this probably has a lot to do with it. i guess i unintentionally tip toe around my feelings and don’t like (or know how to?) be really direct when it comes to telling him how i feel about him. i tease him like we’re in primary school, and expect him to understand how much i care about him through my actions. which is weird, because he’s been better to me than anyone ever has before. 

in a weird way that’s probably the “problem” itself, i like him SO much and appreciate his sweet nature way more than i want to let him know because i don’t want him to lose interest. call it years of bad training from awful exboyfriends, whatever - it’s still a problem. being the sweet guy he is he found his own way of telling me that it’s okay to just be honest, that he likes (maybe even more sometimes, but i don’t want to rush things!) me for who i am and validating that i feel the same way about him is something he’d treasure, not discard. 

so, we’re moving on to the next chapter. i’m learning how to take compliments and tell him how much i appreciate him and he continues to care about me with the utmost sincerity and without a blink. it’s really reassuring, and well - grown up. i guess this is what it’s like, you know. the stuff after first kisses and learning each other’s histories. i kinda like it. i kinda like him a lot, too. 

so, ladies & gents.. i guess what the point is, is to always re-evaluate yourself and make sure you’re treating your loved one like you’d want them to treat you (and with any luck, they do). 

phew.. long post. in short: mind games, don’t do ‘em. my boyfriend is pretty great. relationships get better with time, kinda like wine. xo 

love,

elle