the charm of what could have been

There’s a charm to leaving certain romances unopened, I think. 

I just talked to a guy who I used to fancy a long while ago, I still think he’s charming as ever today. Nothing will ever happen, but there’s something so sweet about him saying “remember when we kissed the night we met?” and knowing it’s nothing more than a bit of innocent nostalgia, a nice pasttime. It’s just really cute in a way that isn’t tarnished by any real emotions, or falling outs. I only talk to him twice a year,if that - but it’s always a really pleasant conversation, and one I always can’t help but to smile afterwards over. 

Maybe every twinge the heart makes doesn’t need to be acted upon, maybe something as simple as a kiss on the cheek or a sparkle in someone’s eye can be kept at just that. Maybe, in some way, that childlike crush is more important than a few “proper” dates will ever be. 

Knowing what will work and what won’t is important, and maybe time and logic play far larger roles in our relationships than we give them credit for. 

Still, I treasure those little moments. Going out for a little meal after digging for records, meeting up for the once off gig. Having a nice time with someone who thinks you’re just lovely, simple as that. 

Maybe we all need a few of those to bring things back into perspective, and realize how good we have it in our real relationships. I know I do.

xo

the goal:

of dating is so subjective, i think. at different times in our lives we want and need different things and not everyone will have as much experience with it as everyone else. 

as for me, i’m pretty old fashioned. i love the idea of waking up together and reading the news (even if it is on our phones via twitter instead of real deal newspapers) and sitting in a coffeeshop talking about nothing in particular, short holidays in the country (i literally just stepped in the door from a beautiful weekend! surreal, really). i love taking time, and not rushing into things. it’s just my style, not better or worse than anyone else’s. 

it’s taken me the better part of two years to find someone that i want to emotionally invest into again, because i made a conscious choice to not do so unless i found someone sincere and wonderful. that sounds crazy, but like my boyfriend would say - “it’s easy to find someone, finding someone you actually like on the other hand..” i don’t know where i’m going with that quote. 

fact is though, i’ve never been this cared for in all my days. romance is a gorgeous and beautiful thing, but add a bit of emotional substance and commitment to that and it’s cloud 9. in my book anyway, that is! almost six months into dating/knowing him, we’re finally letting “i love you” into our vernacular and well.. i know we mean it. we don’t put each other on pedestals, or always have perfect days without little grumpy interludes.. but that’s being in a real relationship. we never fall asleep on a fight, and any quarrels we do have aren’t all that serious or difficult to resolve. fact is, cheesy as it may be.. i’d trade all my magical kisses in central park and moonlit picnics on baseball fields to be here, right now. best part is though.. i don’t have to. 

you learn something from everyone. we’ve both been in crazy fleeting flings and with all the wrong people for the right reasons, and i’m not saying that our future is guaranteed - but for now, i like having someone to call home and that i’m proud to call mine who feels the same way about me. 

Love,

Elle

what are you after these days?