2 months ago
On keys:
There’s keys to relationships, keys to hearts, blah blah blah.
I mean, if we’re really going to get into specifics about keys - I’ve worn Jens Lekman’s golden one around my neck every day for two days short of a year. (ooph!)
But what I’m talking about here is : apartment keys.
Bubs & I aren’t moving in together. Let’s not get crazy! We had this discussion lately, kind of out of the blue.. it’s not off the table, but as two highly independent people we definitely want to try living alone first before we can think of any co-living set up. Plus there’s the legality of it all,etc. Transatlantic love is pretty damn romantic, but it isn’t the easiest as far as that stuff’s concerned.
Today I came over from Sweden to visit Bubs in London, got into town & grabbed lunch while he was on break - but as a busy ad man (I swear I’m not dating Don Draper, thank god for that too! He’s in accounts. And not a Campbell! /madmenreferences) , he’s got work to do. I kissed him goodbye and he gave me the keys to his flat, told me to take a rest and he’ll be home as soon as he can.
I mean, I guess that’s normal. After a year of kisses and caring, maybe that trust is the norm and I’m just making a big fuss out of nothing. But I like that when I came into his room, there was this sort of familiar comfort, a handwritten letter, a sketchbook, his laptop password laid out on top of it so I could get online,fresh bedding. The little things.
I give him a lot of smack for sometimes getting it wrong. Talking about work too much. Stressing out. I still don’t LIKE those parts of his personality all the time. But I LOVE that he takes care of me better than anyone ever has, and yet is fully aware of the fact that I could easily take care of myself. He likes me when I’m a lioness & a lamb. He loves me for it, really. Which is real special, if you ask me - and something I always hoped I’d find… so, there’s that.I think we both go above & beyond what’s expected of each other in our own ways, I should remember that more often. Just because he doesn’t show his affection exactly like I do doesn’t make his any less valid, and vice versa. (Wow, just fleshing out my own problems now! Stop it, Elle! Stop it!)
What do you think about living with your significant others? Are any of you doing it? (Living together, I mean! I’d hope the other too, if that’s the case..)
Love,
Elle
xo
4 months ago
transatlantic love & meeting the parents:
It’s been a hot minute since anything’s swept your dashboards from us (or well, me) - so here’s what’s happening these days in my love life (which is all i ever report these days..zzz? give me ideas!)
So.. here goes nothing.
Bubs (thankfully not his real name! just a pet one that I’ve given him, poor bloke) & I have been dating for the better part of this past year, so we’re starting to get to that cozy place in our relationship where I’m around him wearing hot rollers in my hair and he doesn’t always shave his beard when I kiss him. I’d be sad about this if it wasn’t so nice to not have to be this polished version of myself at every turn, because when enough time is spent together - the act kind of wears thin. Not that we don’t still love date nights and looking good for one another - as a pair equipped with extremely healthy egos, that’s never been a problem - it’s just nice not to worry if I’m not on top form, is all!
But I digress. I came home from England at the end of November, and after a teary eyed goodbye and lots of promises to keep this love of ours burnin’ through the winter months (where’s Johnny Cash to write a song when you need him? I know, I know..) , we went back to Skype calls for a month or so. And then, it was here. We turned my house upside down, I tried to hide all the mess of my room in crafty storage containers, and before I knew it I was listening to Jens Lekman on my way to go pick up Bubs from the airport —- with my parents.
7 months ago
the goal:
of dating is so subjective, i think. at different times in our lives we want and need different things and not everyone will have as much experience with it as everyone else.
as for me, i’m pretty old fashioned. i love the idea of waking up together and reading the news (even if it is on our phones via twitter instead of real deal newspapers) and sitting in a coffeeshop talking about nothing in particular, short holidays in the country (i literally just stepped in the door from a beautiful weekend! surreal, really). i love taking time, and not rushing into things. it’s just my style, not better or worse than anyone else’s.
it’s taken me the better part of two years to find someone that i want to emotionally invest into again, because i made a conscious choice to not do so unless i found someone sincere and wonderful. that sounds crazy, but like my boyfriend would say - “it’s easy to find someone, finding someone you actually like on the other hand..” i don’t know where i’m going with that quote.
fact is though, i’ve never been this cared for in all my days. romance is a gorgeous and beautiful thing, but add a bit of emotional substance and commitment to that and it’s cloud 9. in my book anyway, that is! almost six months into dating/knowing him, we’re finally letting “i love you” into our vernacular and well.. i know we mean it. we don’t put each other on pedestals, or always have perfect days without little grumpy interludes.. but that’s being in a real relationship. we never fall asleep on a fight, and any quarrels we do have aren’t all that serious or difficult to resolve. fact is, cheesy as it may be.. i’d trade all my magical kisses in central park and moonlit picnics on baseball fields to be here, right now. best part is though.. i don’t have to.
you learn something from everyone. we’ve both been in crazy fleeting flings and with all the wrong people for the right reasons, and i’m not saying that our future is guaranteed - but for now, i like having someone to call home and that i’m proud to call mine who feels the same way about me.
Love,
Elle
what are you after these days?
